Firstly, please allow me to apologise (as I did on my other blog) for not posting here as often as I would like to. I discovered over my Easter break, the computer is not always conducive to me being happy. So I have been more focused on happiness provoking tasks.
It was amazing how that simple realization has helped. I needed to remove the pressure of feeling like I had to be a certain person or do a certain thing. With our family's health issues, I realised it was a learning time for me. What I have learned about myself over the past 4 months has been that I really can change commitments; whether they are commitments to myself or commitments to others. I have also learned that having less commitments in my diary is better for my family and being ok with having less commitments than I would like was a step for me. And to quote my friend Fiona from Thursday night, life is like climbing Mt Warning. You can only get there one step at a time. If I don't know the answers today, having a goal of knowing all the answers in a week or two weeks may only be setting me up for a fall. When I get two weeks down the track and don't have the answers, what then? My reaction has been to become upset because I had this goal and I didn't achieve it. I don't need to have all the answers, I just need to know what my next step will be in finding the answers or as close to the answer as I can. Knowing that I only need to focus on 'the next step' in the investigative journey is more manageable for me right now. I guess you could say I'm eating the elephant, one bite at a time. And when I'm finished this mouthful completely, then and only then will I attempt to take another bite. And if this mouthful is too hard to chew or doesn't taste all that great, I can always get rid of that mouthful and take another bite from a different part of the elephant and see what it tastes like. Eventually I will eat the whole thing. All in good time. What is the elephant you need to eat and where will your next bite come from? Do you need to finish with chewing this mouthful because it doesn't taste all that good and take a bite from somewhere else?